Yesterday, after my presentation on “White Horses in the Dark” at Brown University, a woman approached me and said, “I’m not trying to be crass, but how did you get this gig? Who is paying you? Who do I need to talk to?” She wasn’t friendly, and
But her method is probably not going to get her what she wants. The people whom she’d hoped to impress found her pushy and not very appealing, and though they accepted a stack of publicity cards from her, they felt no compunction about throwing them in the recycling bin when she left. And that is a shame, because she had made a nice effort in printing those, and her instinct to put them in people’s hands was a good one. So where did she go wrong?
I briefly flirted with the idea of calling this post “How NOT to Get Gigs,” and if I had, one of my bullet points would have been: Don’t treat people like stepping-stones, flunkies, or rungs on your grand ladder to success. For that’s just what she did. No hello, no smile, no inquiry about the other person – just a grim series of rapid-fire questions first to me, and later to the sponsors of the event.
But I’d much rather think about this from the positive side: “How to Get Gigs.” I should say here that I’m hardly an expert on researching venues, contacting organizers, submitting applications, and managing the business side of my musical life. I take my hat off to those geniuses who are really good at that stuff, like my late friend David Ingle, who, when he died, had more gigs lined up than most living performers! (I hope he performed them in some ballad-singing Otherworld). But I do have enough engagements lined up to feel busy and grateful, and right now, it seems lots of people are asking me questions about how I got ‘em. As such, it has been on my mind, and I thought I’d share some thoughts on the subject.
Give what you want to get.
If you want applause, applaud. If you want appreciation, show appreciation. If you want attention, bestow attention. If you want love, give love. Do this freely and without counting costs or expecting tit-for-tat. Be happy for other people. Believe that whatever is yours will come to you. Be on the lookout for beauty and skill and goodness, and remark upon it. Support it. When you do this, you support all the beauty, skill, and goodness in yourself. This is mysterious and even a bit mystical, but I believe it with my whole heart.
Do your thing, even apart from gigs.
Practice your craft. Start a project and finish it. Be in process with something – your book, your CD, your poetry series. This is important because it gives you the opportunity to grow in your art AND it takes some of the pressure off so that you’re not so hungry. You exude the confidence of a person who is walking her talk, who is busy and competent. You don’t need anything so desperately that you have to push and wheedle. You don’t have to approach “important” people with your heart in your mouth, hoping they’ll give you something you can’t get for yourself. No. You’re a musician already. That is the life you have chosen and the art you practice. What other people say and do is separate. This knowledge gives you space and ease – and even, dare I say it, a bit of cool?
Turn up, turn up, and turn up again.
Building a life as a performer can take a long, long time. I suppose it’s true that some people are overnight successes, but I don’t know any of them personally. For me and for most people I know, you put in your time. You turn up for open-mikes and grow to love and admire your fellow open-mikers. You do a lot of free performances. You sing or perform wherever you are given the chance. You sing in nursing homes. You sing for $20 in restaurants. You build relationships with people based on courtesy and friendship, and one side-benefit of these relationships is that sometimes these people ask you to play when the right opportunity comes along.
Be kind to everyone.
That’s everyone: the people who set up chairs, the people who hand you your check, the people who ask questions, the people who don’t know what to say but want to stand beside you. Everyone matters. Everyone helps you. Every person present makes what happens special. That includes you, the performer, but I’ve come to believe that we are helped, supported, and lifted by everyone in attendance. It is as much their show as yours. Treat everyone with kindness and gratitude. This is the most beautiful dance there is. Love it!
Commit to giving something of value every time you perform.
Focus on what you want to give people, and how you want them to feel as a result of what you share. Think about what truly matters to you and how to make that available to your audience. Personally, I want people to feel inspired about their own lives. I want them to feel that meaning is available to them, as well as richness, whimsy, pleasure, and joy. I try to infuse my performances with those qualities and also to accept them gratefully from the people who come to share an hour or two with me.
There are many other things to learn about getting gigs, but I do believe that if you get the inside of you straightened out, the outside soon follows. I practice this belief every day! So before considering questions of business cards and websites and professional contacts, I keep my focus on what I love, what I value, and how I wish to feel about my musical life. And I truly believe that that focus is for me The Best Way to Get Gigs.
If you have other ideas to share, I’d love to hear them!
PS – Apologies to my brother Dan who once told me he objects to the word “gig.” I think what he meant is that “gig” sounds like something small and quick with big teeth that chitters in the corner. I do agree. But “How to Get Performance Opportunities” just doesn’t ring or snap the same way. Nevertheless, I take his point!
